Sunday, November 9, 2014

Why I Do Self Portraits

When I first started out in photography I only took photos of models. I had it set in my head that I wasn't pretty enough or I hated the way I looked in photos... blah blah blah. I was really hard on myself and while I tried to do some nicer images of myself here and there, I honestly still disliked them.

One of my best friends always says that moving from my hometown was the best thing to ever happen to me and looking back on everything... he's right. I got away from a lot of the stupid drama that happened there. 99% of the time it didn't even really involve me but people would pull me in because... well, that was the circle of friends. I'd try to get out of that circle and find a friend and then find out that they're friend's with all the people I tried to run from. I still get that where I live now, just not to the degree that it was.

Anyways, with moving, it came that I didn't know anyone around me. I desperately wanted to continue my photography and art but I had no one to help anymore. The few models I did meet ended up not showing or canceling for whatever reason. I got really sick in October last year and forced myself to get out of bed and photograph an image instead of laying in bed all day. It's probably one of my favorite images I've shot. Image to the left is the referred one titled "Breathe No More" from one of my favorite songs.

I learned a lot creating this image. I learned that not everything has to be sharply still. I learned that I can be my own model and not hate myself. I learned that I can create anything if I put my mind to it. Ever since this photograph, I've been doing several self portraits. It's not that I like looking at myself in photos, but it's I like making my dreams and ideas come to life. I love seeing myself in these other worlds I create. I love being 100% apart of my art. I still use models for things that I can't do by myself or use models because it's easier when there isn't much time to shoot (like trying to shoot right before sun set, etc.) Who knows my schedule and can be reliable? I can. I know my own schedule more than anyone else and I can also be there. I don't have to wait for a late model and I can push myself as far as I want my image to go. With some models they can't do certain things or in some cases they just won't do certain things.

I've found myself doing some crazy things for photos that only a few other people I know would do for me. I've been inside creepy abandoned buildings, stood on glass or other materials barefoot, photographed myself in the ocean in December, put my bare skin against snow, climbed a mountain for photos, etc. I don't regret anything at all either. I'm a super adventurous person and I love ever minute of it! Doing self portraits has been the best thing I've done in my entire life.