Imaginary

I have a deep and strong connection with this song. When creating this image, I wanted to keep true to the lyrics of the song. "In My field of paper flowers, Candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me," I sing this song very very often. If you've read any of my blogs from when I first started blogging, then you'll know that I was bullied for a majority of my childhood. I was about 11 when the song first came out, I already loved her song "Bring Me To Life", I used to listen to it all the time.

Even at a young age I understood the lyrics well. Maybe because I could see people for who they really were and what the world is without even having to explore much of it. I didn't just understand and feel the song, but I lived the song. I've always been a dreamer. My body was always in auto pilot mode while my mind was in my own world--I still do this. I hated school, which is funny because I loved it at the same time, but I found myself not being able to fully flourish there. While I have nothing wrong with religion, to each his own, the religious school I went to focused too much on the religion itself and not enough on developing a child's talents and their minds. I still have no clue where all the money my parents spent went. It definitely wasn't for an art program.

There is bullying everywhere you go, I experienced it from a wide variety of people, both learned and ignorant. What helped me in life to cope with these daily pains of having to deal with people has always been my imagination. I'd spend hours outside exploring our wooden back area, playing imaginary games that I was some warrior princess that saved the entire village from danger! I would draw, sing and play piano to keep myself entertained. Now of days people stay on the computer, their cell phones, and their other various hand held devices. Don't get me wrong, I played my share in gameboy, playstation, etc. I was a pretty hardcore console and pc gamer, but aside from that I took time to fall into my own imagination.

I was told once to let my mind go blank and your "safe zone" or quiet place would appear. For me it was an open green field where you could see no end and the sky met the ground with one single tree. In my head I would go and sit by that tree and just let myself be free. We actually had a tree outside my parents house that I would sit by all the time and draw, some workers came by one day and cut the tree down due to it being close to the power lines. A tiny part of me died that day. I found other trees I would climb in and sit and think all the time, we had that nosy neighbor that would come out and yell at me and even threaten to call the cops on me because they thought I would fall out of it... though it was on our property, I soon found another better tree where she couldn't say anything. I still climbed the other one and eventually told her to screw off.

I would lie inside myself and thoughts for hours almost every hour I was awake. I still do this today and I get a lot of "air-headed" comments. Trust me, I'm not air-headed, I just don't want to listen to people's constant sex jokes, cruel humor, and mindless banter. I have a love-hate relationship with people. I have a very caring side that tries my hardest to please others and help them. Then I have my side that knows how unfaithful, cruel, and backstabbing people can be. When someone doesn't get their way they instantly change on you. They become distorted from the previous image they tried to show you.

Working in the food industry really made me dislike people even more. We get "nice" people all the time yet the second their food was wrong (even slightly) they go off and all of a sudden we're the most ignorant and incapable people on this planet. People just do things without thinking and that's what I think will continue to be the downfall of the human race. I do a lot of things on whim as well but there are also many many things that I don't do or say based on the outcome.

Anyways, I still cope with people and their rudeness by shrugging it off and going into my own little world which is where most of my images are born. A lot are from dreams, but I do get a lot of ideas while I'm at work in "auto pilot mode".

There is so-so much more that connects me to these song lyrics but this was just a tad bit into why I love it so much and why I relate to it. The rest of the stuff is kind of depressing and I'm not really in a depressing mood right now. I'm actually quiet inspired, excited, motivated, uplifted, thoughtful, etc. I just wanted to take a few minutes out of my time and share with everyone my thoughts.

"Imaginary"